I really envy the authors abitlity to tell a complete story in such a simple way. I would really like to hear your point of view on his "to the point" writing. Do you feel it would have been better had there been more dtails like similies or metaphores?
Patricia Hill
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I really didn't like it. It was really to the point. I think that it needs something more. I'm not sure what it is. I couldn't get into the poem. It was really simple and short.
My opinion is it is usually better to be concise. I really like how cut and dry and to-the-point it is but I think it would be stronger if there were more metaphors showing than writing telling. I was a little bit annoyed with the style of the poem too.
"he said it doesn't look good
he said it looks bad in fact real bad"
"he said I'm real sorry he said"
It got repetitive and the format combined with lack of punctuation kind of drove me insane. It was like trying to read a text message from someone who doesn't capitalize or punctuate anything and you're sitting there wondering why you can't understand English and why you have no idea what they are saying.
Overall, it was very interesting and although it was annoying, I'm glad I read it.
i didnt really like it also, it was really straight and to the point, which i usually like it, but i found it pretty boring.. i think if she would have played with it more and through metaphors and similes in, it would have made it a lot better.
Personally, I like simplicity. There is no need to hide the true meaning under big words. There is no digging involved, you read it and instantly understand what happened. I think metaphors and smilies would have helped paint a better picture for the readers, but Carver got his point acrossed. I liked the quote, "when you come to a waterfall mist blowing against your face and arms do you stop and ask for understanding at those moments." It makes me think about my life and how I don't slow down enough. Overall, I really enjoyed this poem.
I hated this poem. I thought it sounded like something a 6th grader would write. I didn't understand any of it. I quit reading it half way through because I found it to be so horriable to read.
i had mixed feelings about it. i really like when things are to the poing. that is how i live my life, to the poing. when someone is telling me something i dont want them to beat around the bush i just want to know what they want. at the same time i think that a little detail is necessary. without detail any story is a little boring so i believe a little detail is good for me but i hate to much detail
I really enjoyed the poem. I love poetry because the writers need to put so much into so few words. You can explain a concept in a novel, you have so much time to get your point across but poets have to in so few words. I do like the authors directness. He didn't need to adorn the subject, it is a hard one. In fact, the hardest things in life should not be adorned but bluntly spoken.
I like things that are simple but this was a little too simple. I would have like to get more feelings brought out when I read this. I got confused on who was saying what at some points because of the "he said." That was really annoying to keep reading that same thing over and over. The ending was def. not what I expected. I liked the element of surprise personally, so I liked the ending, but not really the whole story in general.
This poem was kind of a nice change from the last one, the fact that it was dry and straight forward allowed me to just read it and understand instantly. It was like the exact opposite of the previous poem. Although I don't mind looking for hidden meanings, I think I prefer poems that are straight forward like this one. The only thing that kind of made it a difficult read was the lack of punctuation. When you look at this poem as a whole, it just looks like the exact same thing due to the fact that there are no periods, commas, capitalization, etc. If the author would have simply capitalized words here and there put in a period or two, I think it would have been a much easier read.
And the fact that there were no similes and metaphors in this piece contributed to the simplicity. If the author would have been in hidden messages in a dry poem, it would have confused me because it would be two different formats. I think the way it was written was perfect, and I enjoyed reading this.
One last thing, the line that Lana pointed out caught my attention as well. Personally I liked that line the most because it kind of made me think about how I live as well. It was cool!
I think this would have been better if there was more descriptive elements being included. It needed a little bit more to it. It seemed dry.
I think the writing does pretty well to stand on its own. The story doesn't need any "dressing up" with great descriptions. Sometimes serious stories can be told more effectively if they are told vaguely, leaving the mind to wonder about the feel of the story. The only thing I really didn't like about the writing was that the words staggered along a bit. It was a little too repetitive in simple word use.
I love when things are sweet and short. It's easy to follow when you don't have a lot of time.
This piece wasn't that bad actually. I think it's really easy to paint a picture of the scene, and that's always a good thing.
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